I haven't known what to say....

Or even how to say it...

I have always wanted to be inspirational in my writing and I read other blogs that are amazing Then me .... I can barely spell let alone write :)!!!!

I hope I can write about my experience with out sounding crazy but I love my new path in life and it has changed who I am and I know it will continue to do so. I am very excited to see where it takes me. I have always wanted to do something with babies. I have always said I want to go back to school and be a labor and delivery nurse like my mommy or I tell my aunt Michelle after watching her pain of trying to have her Quads that I want to be a surrogate, I offer any transplant of Uterus, tubes, ovaries to anyone who needs them ( I really wish there was such a thing) . But I never thought of NILMDTS till June. I know my place is to some how help in the time of having babies.

I havea photographer for Now I lay me down to sleep since August 8th and I LOVE IT!!!!! I went into this thinking I can help people in there hardest time of there life. But WOW, I didn't realize what these families would do for me. I feel some what selfish that I come into there life in a sad moment and I leave impressed, blessed, Just feeling like I am on top of the world with Angels in my arms. I have had 11 Angels and I have fallen in love with all of them and all for different reasons, Chubby toes, chubby thighs, curly hair, luscious lips, tiny fingers, crooked nose, cluff pallet and much much more. But most of all I fall in love with there soul.

I really thought I would walk into an Angel families room and I would crawl into bed with them and cry my eyes out with the mom. But I amazed myself, it is hard seeing there pain and I will find myself tearing up and hurting for them. But its a place I love to be, its hard to feel sad when I am witnessing miracles.

The first Angel I did I walked into the room and saw sadness I saw confusion but then the nurse brought the baby in and I asked her if I could hold him and I instantly saw light, perfection, I saw the power this little boy held in his lifeless body. And every Angel I hold I feel that power!!!

It's funny to me that when my Angel families can't thank me enough I think that they have done more for me than I could ever do for them. I keep thanking them back! I really wish I could be this close with them with out this trial in there life.... but there trial there Angel has brought me closer to heaven. I know, I know these Angels and I know I will get to be with them. I am so lucky to have many Angels to greet me when I am in heaven. I used to be so scared of dying, now I know it will be so amazing. How could I be scared?

There is so much more I could say and I could go on for hours about each Angel!!!!!

Here are a few photos of my Angels... Thank you to my Angel families that gave me permission to share them. I love all of you and I am so blessed to have your you and your Angels in my life!!!

I have so many pictures that I love!!!! These are only a few!!!!